i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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