I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
