Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
