Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I think my vagina is haunted
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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