Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
