You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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