And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
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