I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
