Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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