I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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