help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
