he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
