Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
