ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You are a genius and a whore.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
