Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
