yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
