Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
