We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
