I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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