i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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