she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
