you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
