I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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