Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
