i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
