If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
