Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize