We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
the liver wants what the liver wants
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
