help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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