you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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