The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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