Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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