She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
