I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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