i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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