Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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