the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
