I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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