it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
