If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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