the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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