apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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