i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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