She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
