did you get engaged???
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
