Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
the day after is always just damage control
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
