shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
