Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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