So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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