She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
