Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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