did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
