I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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